


Thin Walls

by LesbihonestGuys



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Jealous Natasha Romanov, Jealousy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:34:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29811261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LesbihonestGuys/pseuds/LesbihonestGuys
Summary: you’ve been avoiding the fight for as long as you can remember, but when the whole universe had lost, including you, the fight was the only thing you could run towards…you just didn’t expect her arms to be there waiting to catch you
Relationships: Natasha Romanov (Marvel)/Reader
Comments: 15
Kudos: 104





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> hey…i’m kind of new to this fandom - well, at least new to writing for this fandom. been a marvel fan my whole life but only recently got into the fanfic side of it and i got to say i’m obsessed with the way writers have captured natasha’s character and explored it. i’m never going to get over what happened in endgame so this series is my attempt at keeping her in my life :) would LOVE any criticism, thoughts, support...just hope you guys enjoy it! will also likely be taking requests after this series is finished so feel free to fill my inbox! this is a little slow burn so just bear with me, also if you’re not watching WandaVision or would like warnings for spoilers, later chapters will mix with the WandaVision plot but i will put a warning before the chapters for spoilers
> 
> this is also being posted on my tumblr so drop me a follow! 
> 
> TUMBLR: 5-puthyyy  
> IG: poetic_n.m  
> TWITTER: @DemiIsAGoddess5

The last thing you remember was laying in the bed you share with your girlfriend, lazily trailing your fingers up and down her spine as she flicked through the channels on the TV. You haven’t been together long - only a year - yet the connection you had felt with her was strong enough to have her move in with you a mere 6 months into the relationship. She loves you, and you can proudly say her feelings are real and not manipulated by your powers.

“You’re so indecisive.” You grinned as you felt her body shake against you with a silent laugh. She shuffled and turned in your arms. Your eyes met her deep blues as you twisted a blonde lock around your finger and brushed your thumb along her cheekbone.

“There’s one thing I know I want.” She husked out and leaned in closer, brushing her nose against yours. Your eyelids fluttered as shivers ran down your spine before you shut your eyes in anticipation.

“Oh yeah? What would that be?” You waited for her response, eager for those soft lips to brush gently against yours. You waited a while, waited until you no longer felt her nose on yours. When you opened your eyes she was looking at you with something you’ve never seen in her eyes before: fear. A strong fear, so strong you could feel it radiating off of her.

“Babe?” You question, tilting your head a little. Until you see it. Ash.

“Your…your nose. What’s happening?” She tries to touch your face but her hand practically falls into your cheek, quickening the process. 

“Don’t! Don’t touch me, I can fix this.” You’ve heard of a fight in the news, a battle of sorts, but you never liked looking into those too much; you had your moment of contemplation on whether you should offer your help to the Avengers years ago. But you could fix this. You know you could. As you stood up to rush to your desk where your notepad and pencil lay, you felt like you were floating in the air. Looking down, you saw your legs vanishing, turning into ash...and then nothingness.

That’s the last thing you remember. Nothingness.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> coming back and missing 5 years of your life is an overwhelming sensation but you take no break as you rush to the Avengers compound to offer your help
> 
> warning/s : language + mentions of death

The heat against your skin is unbearable. It wakes you up, forcing your eyes open to take in your surroundings. You sigh in relief realising you’re in your room before standing up and stumbling to the window to close the curtains. But you can’t lift your arms. Looking down you realise it was still coming back. The pieces of ash are colliding to form, or reform, your body.

“What the hell?” You mumble, twisting your arm and pinching it once it looks completely normal. Then you hear the screams: the shrieks, the car horns, the birds. You hear birds singing and can’t tell if it’s a cheerful song or sorrowful. Finally it hits you. You vanished, and your girlfriend isn’t in your room like she was before it happened. Did she vanish too? Finding your phone on your desk, you quickly pull the charging cord out and go to unlock it just to drop it in shock when you look at the date. 2023...5 years? Has it really been 5 years? You don’t remember it, you don’t remember what it felt like, if it even felt like anything. You just remember being in bed and then nothing. You have to call her.

“Y/N? Hello? Whoever this is, it’s not funny.” The familiarity of her voice calms you down a little, but you can still hear that panic, the fear in her tone. You remember the fear you saw in her eyes and you imagine that’s how she’s feeling right now.

“Jas? Jas, baby, it’s me. Where are you?” She gasps once she hears your voice, and you smile at the thought that she’s happy to hear from you. You look out the window, watching as some people hug each other tightly, others running as fast as they can, some driving chaotically beeping their car horns in impatience. It’s a mess out there. You can see the people that you assumed had vanished coming back the same way you had. Nothingness to ash to human life. What the hell had you missed out on?

“No…It can’t be. You’re dead.” You almost drop your phone again at that but compose yourself to find clothes to put on your naked body. You were in bed before you vanished, still nude after rounds and rounds of intimacy with Jasmine. It’s like it was only a couple moments ago; you can still feel her lingering touch on your skin.

“Dead? No, no, I’m here, darling. I’m at our place. Jasmine, come home. I don’t know what’s going on.” She sighs into the phone and there’s commotion going on in the background. Loud voices, screams, cars breaking through the wind. She must be out too, this must be happening everywhere. You put the TV on and flip through the channels looking for the news.

“Y/N, you died. You just…you vanished, along with half of the world’s population.” Her words are repeated across the screen. Breaking news. ‘The Vanished’ are back. Families reunited. The Avengers saved us all.

“I-I don’t understand. Just-Jas, just come home. Please.” You still don’t understand why she won’t just come home to you. You still don’t understand what you’ve missed, what the Avengers did, who ‘Thanos’ is.

“It’s been 5 years, Y/N. I don’t know what’s going on, but I can’t do this. You were gone, and I had to move past it. I can’t go back.” She pleads into the phone as she tries to get you to understand her, but you don’t. You can’t comprehend the fact that a whole 5 years have gone by. She’s spent 5 years without you, alone or maybe not alone, but not here. She’s not here, not in your bed, not in your apartment.

“W-What? It was fucking yesterday for me, Jasmine. What the fuck do you mean you moved past it? Are you seeing someone else?” The grip on your phone tightens at the accusation, heart aching at the thought of her with someone else. None of this is making any sense to you.

“I’m engaged. Look, I have to go. But listen…I think you should do it.” Your heart drops at that. That’s worse. That’s worse than just being with someone else; someone else loves her and she loves them back. It’s just been a few moments, a few minutes. Time hasn’t passed for you. You try push that aside because it’s not something you want to deal with right now. The overwhelming amount of information has hit you like a truck and your shoulders feel heavy. Your body feels so heavy you let yourself sink onto the bed and keep your eyes locked onto the TV screen.

“Fuck. You’re-You-Fuck. Do what?” You stutter before sighing and running your fingers through your hair. She’s really gone. She’s not coming back. You suppose this is how she felt when you were gone too.

“What you wanted to do all those years ago. Goodbye, Y/N.” You know what she’s talking about the second the channel starts broadcasting the battle live from afar. Really far.

“Wait, Jas-” She hangs up before you can say anything else and you can do nothing but throw your phone across the room and watch it bounce off the wall. “Fuck me. Fuck!” You focus on the fight, watching what you know is Dr Strange’s magic - it’s not something well known, but you’ve studied his magic. You’ve studied most types of magic. You watch as heroes start to appear, armies, warriors, aliens. It seems like the universe is coming together for this battle. You feel heavy in your chest with guilt. You could have been there. But soon enough the helicopter filming is blown to pieces, the feed going offline. You turn off the TV and close your eyes, falling back to rest your head. You tell yourself to just breathe. Breathe and you’ll be alright. Everything will be fine.

—————————————————————————————————

It turns out, everything is not fine. When you wake up, you go to the kitchen and find nothing but rotten, mouldy food. Jasmine hadn’t even stayed here when you vanished. She might as well have vanished too. You can’t bring yourself to think or care about her when you know she moved on and she’s not coming back, not even to at least see you. Cleaning the fridge was hard as the pieces of fruit and vegetables had practically melted into the glass. You left it for another day and found tinned tomato soup in the cupboard. You turn the TV back on and leave the soup to heat up in a pot. 

Iron Man is dead. They’d won the battle, like the Avengers usually do, but this time not all of them came out alive. You don’t believe it at first, flicking through the channels to make sure they’re all saying the same thing. But it’s right. They’re right. He’s dead, sacrificed himself to defeat Thanos and his army. The thought flickers in the back of your mind, and as much as you try to keep it back you can’t. The last time you tried to do this, it worked, although you had to reverse it because they asked you to. But it still worked.

You let out a sigh. Forget the damn soup, you have to go help; you’ve been in the shadows for far too long. You rush to your room, grab your phone, notepad and pencil, pack essentials in your backpack and run out to make your way to the destroyed compound in hopes that someone is still there.

—————————————————————————————————

“Off limits. Turn around and walk away.” Once you reach close to the compound, you’re met with agents forming a wall. There’s no entrance, no building, the grass dark and bloody. You don’t see any alien bodies of the foreign army, but what you do see is warriors from Wakanda, students and masters of the mystic arts, beings from across the universe that have come to fight and die for this Earth. Tears threaten to trickle down your face but you blink them away and look up at the agent stood in front of you. His eyes are tear-filled too, red and puffed. You can tell he’s tired, broken, shattered by what has happened. You think you recognise him from your research years back but can’t put a name to his face. 

“You knew Stark.” At the mention of the man he once guarded with his life, he snaps his head to you with nothing but anger in his eyes. Being here stood on the battlefield was enough reminder of the friend he has lost.

“This isn’t the time or place for this. You can get your autographs another time. Move along.” His tone is harsh and cold, leaving almost no room for debate. Almost.

“I’m not here for autographs. I’m here to help.” He steps forward and you try not to step back, try not to show him that you’re somewhat intimidated by him. But you can see a glimmer of hope in his eyes and that’s all you need. The other agents stood behind him keep their eyes on you, guns drawn when you step closer to him. You kick your bicycle behind you - you only need your backpack anyway. There’s nothing left for you in the city.

“You can help by leaving.” You step closer and the guns click.

“I can bring Stark back.” He pauses at that, turning to face you with his eyes gentle now. You know you can do it. There has to be a way. He sighs and rubs his eyes, pinching the space between them. He doesn’t want you to give him hope, but maybe that’s what everyone needs at a time like this. You know you can’t speak for everyone else considering you haven’t suffered these past 5 years like they have, but suffering breaks people...and you? You still have that hope that they need.

“Listen, kid-” You interrupt him before he can reject you again, this time placing a hand on his arm and the agents step forward, but he tells them to stay back.

“Please. Just let me help. It’s the least I can do.” A moment of silence passes as he looks you up and down, staring into your eyes as if trying to peak into your brain, trying to understand what you could possibly offer that the Avengers haven’t already thought of. Another look into your gentle eyes and he knows you mean no harm.

“They won’t be happy if this is some sick trick or game.” You can’t help but give the man a soft smile, silently thanking him for trusting you.

“It’s not.” 

“It’s your funeral.” He grumbles and tells you to follow him as he marches past the agents. You think he’s practically running because he doesn’t want to look at the ground littered with bodies. Looking around as you try and keep up with him, you think about the mess, the destruction caused here. You can fix that too. That would be easier and faster - you could do that to prove your powers to them.

The man starts slowing down and you almost run into him, distracted by your surroundings, trying not to cough at the ash and dust making its way into your lungs. Everything has been destroyed, leaving nothing but a bench table for them to sit around. It’s a depressing sight to say the least - the Earth’s mightiest heroes covered in mud and blood, sitting on a weak wooden bench. They won the battle but they’re defeated.

“Happy? Who’s the kid?” She’s still crying; her eyes are watery, cheeks tear stained. You know her from TV. It’s Pepper Potts. You know she’ll be desperate enough to let you help, or at least hear you out, so you give her a sympathetic smile.

“She says she can help.” The man that you finally know the name of speaks up and steps to the side with his arms crossed over his chest. They all turn to look at you and this time you can’t stand straight and proud. It’s intimidating to have the God of Thunder staring you down, Captain Marvel watching you cautiously, all these heroes who just fought for their lives glaring at you as if waiting for you to attack. The only chance at hope they were given was being able to bring everyone back after 5 years of trying. There’s nothing left in them to try again.

“Help with what? It’s over.” That was Hawkeye. He’s teary too and you look around quickly and see there’s a person missing, someone other than Stark. She wasn’t in the news and if she really is dead you already feel angry about the lack of press on her.

“Alright, kid, let’s get you out of here.” Your breath gets caught in your throat as the Captain America stands up and addresses you, hands very close to your shoulders, but you step back before he can hold you.

“Please. Please just hear me out. I’ve hidden myself for so long because this wasn’t what I originally wanted to do. I don’t know if I was scared, or selfish, or held back by love, but I’m ready now. I have nothing to lose.” That last sentence is what got to them. Many of them have been ready to fight and sacrifice their lives because of that, and it’s something that makes them heroes. It’s what can make you a hero. Captain America steps back, crosses his arms like Happy and nods at you. “I’m a writer.” You blurt out, intimidated by their stares. Eyebrows raise at that statement, waiting for you to speak more but your words are caught in your throat. How do you even begin to explain this?

“Are you a journalist? Look, we already said we’re not ready to talk to the media yet. If you don’t leave we’ll have to remove you ourselves.” It was Hulk this time with an arm in a cast strapped against his chest. He stands up and although he’s injured you’re still scared.

“No, no. Just wait. I can show you better than I can tell you.” You shrug off your backpack as you hear some of them sighing, whispering amongst themselves, no doubt about how ridiculous you sound right now. Pulling out your pencil and notepad, you open to a blank page and take a deep breath. Glancing back up at them, you see all eyes on you and by now they’re all thinking you are in fact a journalist trying to sneak your way here. You look back down and think about your wording before finally writing:

‘It only took one minute for the debris to erode and the grass to grow. Another minute for the air to clear and the ground to repair itself. And a final minute for the Avengers compound to rebuild to what it was before Thanos and his army had destroyed it.’

The words on the paper turned yellow, a colour you noticed years ago was similar to Dr Strange’s Eldritch magic. You look back up at the group to find them still staring at you cautiously until the Earth began to shake. Weapons were in their hands in seconds, some aimed at you, some rushing towards the sounds only to pause when they realise it was everywhere. The debris on the ground began to quickly erode. Bruce looks at the battlefield with curiosity and shock, knowing this type of erosion takes years, decades, centuries. Within a minute, there was no more debris and the grass was fresh and green. Bodies still littered but you carefully made sure to avoid writing them out. They deserve funerals.

“How?” Captain America stood by you with his mouth hung open but eyes glimmering, shining even.

“Long story.” You wait another minute, watching the dust leave and breathe in the fresh, cool air. Just as you wrote it, the soil returned to its original form, the ground balancing, repairing itself. “Can you trust me?” You ask him, glancing to the side. He sighs with content, pulling his helmet off so you can see the dried blood over his face, the swollen bruises, his ruffled hair. Just when they thought this was the most your abilities could do, the buildings began to rise up. You can hear a collection of gasps, cries, laughs of joy as the compound began to rebuild with yellow magic surrounding it. Dr Strange is looking at you from afar and you can tell he predicted you being here. Captain America’s hand on your shoulder breaks the staring contest you’re having.

“We can’t trust you entirely. But this is a good place to start.” He walks forward and everyone follows.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> getting the details down is a long process, and a walk with wanda helps you understand just how much they have lost and just how important it is for you to make this work
> 
> warning/s : language + mentions of death + trauma

An hour later and you were stood in the kitchen, resting against the counter, writing up an order of pizza in your notepad. The Avengers were cleaning themselves up, taking turns considering there were a lot more of them than usual, most without their own suites. Steve was around helping everyone, guiding them to the showers, giving them fresh clothes, being their leader as you imagined him to be. Thor sits on the armchair in the living room staring at you with his eyes a little narrowed and you wait for him to say something, to say anything to you. A second later, the elevator door dings and in walks a young boy holding a stack of pizzas, confusing to how he even got here. 

“Thanks.” You pay him, despite the fact that he’ll just disappear back into his restaurant with no memory of this, and place the pizza onto the table. This time you narrow your eyes at the God of Thunder. Yield. You tell him to yield in your head because you know he’s hungry. He raises his arm and holds his hand open. You hear the whoosh before you see the huge hammer flying through the corridor and into his hand. “Pizza?” You offer him and he stands up, heavy steps echoing as he walks towards you. His eyes are different colours, something you didn’t know about him. You don’t really know how he can braid his hair and beard so fast after just showering, but you guess it might have to do with the fact that he is a damn God, towering over you now with a glare.

“With pepperoni?” He husks out, an eyebrow raised. You gulp and nod at him before he breaks out into a smile and picks up two whole boxes for himself.

“Is this magic pizza or real pizza?” Clint asks as he walks in wearing joggers and a tank top, his hair wet and dripping down the back of his neck. He still has a distant look in his eyes and as much as you want to ask, you think he and everyone deserves a break. You let him eat first.

“Doesn’t make a difference in taste. But it’s real. I just sped up the delivery guy.” You answer him and hand him a box. He smiles gratefully and you smile back, happy that they seem to be trusting you enough to at least feed them. “Can I ask you something?” You don’t necessarily want to upset him but you have to know since the news isn’t saying anything - you took some time to quickly search through social media on your phone while they were cleaning up.

“Sure thing, kid.” He mumbles out, mouth already stuffed with a slice. You look over to Thor who’s already swallowed half a pizza, sauce dripping down his beard. This isn’t what you expected but you’re definitely entertained.

“Firstly, not a kid. I’m 23. Well, actually I’d be 28 now I’m guessing. I vanished.” 

“Wait, you were one of The Vanished?” Steve asks as he marches in with similar joggers and a tight grey t-shirt. Instead of taking a box, he grabs a plate and takes a slice.

“Yep. Last thing I remember was being in bed with my girlfriend and then I woke up without her. Called her and she wants nothing to do with me. So I left and came here as soon as I saw what, uh, saw what happened to Stark.” You swallow that memory down, refusing to face the heartbreak you felt. There are more important things to focus on. More clean heroes trickle in, some silently thanking you, others still with a glare or a cautious stare.

“Nothing left to lose.” Steve mumbles from beside you, gulping down an entire water bottle in seconds.

“Anyways. So, the news hasn’t said anything about this, so I was just, I just thought I’d ask. Where’s Black Widow?” Silence. That’s enough to tell you what happened. Clint looks down, you notice, and almost everyone avoids looking at you. Apart from Bruce.

“Gone.” He states like it’s a matter of fact with no room for change. Your heart drops a little at that. She’s the one you were most eager to meet. 

“Like, gone gone?” He nods at you with a sigh, grinding his teeth together. “Is her body on the field? Or is-” Clint stands up, his chair scraping along the ground. They all turn to look.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He steps towards you, face red and steamy, eyes dark and cold, tight-lipped. Steve steps in before he can reach you. You always knew they were close, but you didn’t realise how much he actually cared about her.

“Huh? No, I don’t mean that in like a creepy way or something. I just need the bodies to bring them back. Magic rules, am I right?” You laugh nervously and look around at their shocked faces.

“What?” Steve speaks up first after the awkward silence and you internally thank him for that.

“Pretty simple. There’s rules to magic, especially surrounding life and death.” Once you were sure everyone has had some pizza, you allow yourself to take a slice and moan at the taste. You were really hungry. Maybe that’s a side effect of being brought back to life. Thor must have been dead for years; he’s finished both pizzas already and lets everyone know with an earth-shattering burp.

“Rewind. You can bring them back? Nat? And Tony?” Clint asks, this time like a hopeful child almost shaking and bouncing in his steps. You take notice of the man with the weird sideburns looking your way, head peaking up like a meerkat. You assume he’s from a different universe considering you’ve never seen him before.

“I think so. Or I can at least try.” You don’t want to give them false hope because you can’t guarantee it. You have tried before, and it had worked, but it did hurt a lot. The energy you draw is sometimes from within you and sometimes from the universe around you. You could never learn to control it. It’s why they made you reverse what you did; it almost killed you.

“How?” Bruce asks with curiosity and you’re beginning to think his face is always looking like that, like he’s confused, like he’s trying to understand something he doesn’t quite get.

“It’s hard to explain how it works, or why it works. But as you saw with the building and the pizza. Anything I write becomes reality.” You suddenly sense that energy, that magic, and it’s stronger than you’ve ever felt before. It’s similar to yours, reality warping magic. You glance at the entrance to the left and see both Dr Strange and Wanda looking at you, the latter with her head tilted. She’s powerful. And Strange can feel it too by the way he’s drawn to her.

“Is that even possible?” Steve asks.

“It is.” Dr Strange finally speaks out and everyone turns to look at him, surprised to see him still at the compound. They expected him to go back considering he’s the teacher, the master of the mystic arts. Yet he’s left his students unattended.

“You were waiting for me, weren’t you?” You ask him, stepping closer with your arms crossed over your chest. He knows something. You know he’s the keeper of the time stone, so perhaps he looked into the future. He chuckles at you, mimicking your stance. You stand face to face and you’re embarrassingly shorter than him so you’re actually eye to chin. He has a nice goatee, you’ll give him that.

“Clever one, aren’t you?” He laughs and relaxes, as do you, letting your arms fall to the side. Wanda is still standing behind him, looking at you with the same hope you saw in Clint’s eyes. You know she’s lost someone too, and that’s when you notice the Vision isn’t floating around. There were rumours of the two being together but with your research you found out they were actually together. She’s been through enough, and you desperately hope you can help her too.

“You know how I can do this?” You look back to Strange and he simply smirks at you.

“If I told you, it won’t happen. I’m afraid you have to figure that on your own. Or with a little of my help, I guess.” You step back and turn to address everyone. They look better now. Not good, but better. There’s something in the air that’s new, something other than defeat and despair, something lighter.

“Right. I just want to say I’m so sorry for your losses, and as much as I hate making you retell and relive it, I’m going to need the details.” Steve sighs heavily before finally taking a seat on a kitchen stool, exhausted both physically and emotionally.

“Where do we start?” 

—————————————————————————————————

“Okay. Let’s just run over this again. Thanos comes here out of nowhere wanting to destroy half the universe. He can do so with the infinity stones, which you guys now have but from the past. He collected all 6 of them, uh,” You glance at Wanda with a sad look and she looks down to avoid your gaze, “killing the Vision and Gamora for two of them, and snapped his fingers. That was 5 years ago, yes?” They collectively nod. “Half the universe vanished, and this happened on all planets,” You look at Carol to confirm, “Ant-Man was stuck in the quantum realm, comes out 5 years later and you manage to figure out time travel, get the stones, and come back to undo the snap. Natasha sacrifices her life to get the Soul stone, so her body is in Vormir. Bruce snaps, everyone’s back, but 2014 Thanos has managed to get in because of Nebula’s evil old clone. Battle commences, and Stark takes the stones off the gauntlet and puts them on his suit, snaps his fingers and gets rid of Thanos and his army. But he dies in the process. Is that all?” You rush out quickly, barely breathing during the process. They all nod at you, Clint smiling at the gestures you made with your hands throughout. You look overwhelmed at the information and Clint seems to sense that as she starts gesturing for people to leave the room and give you space.

“Pretty much.” Bruce smiles at you, equally hopeful that you could actually bring their lost ones back. You suddenly have waves of anxiety rolling through you, scared that you may disappoint them. You’re terrified that giving them hope may backfire if you can’t actually figure out a way to do this properly and permanently.

“Wow. Okay. Is it okay if I just take a minute and brainstorm?” You start breathing a little heavier and shake your sweaty hands.

“Take your time.” Bruce says before leaving with everyone else, apart from Wanda who is still at the entrance with her arms crossed over her chest. You ignore her presence, focusing on your breathing.

“Oh God.” You take out your laptop and write it all down. A few days with your powers and you realised it doesn’t work when you type, only when your hand writes on paper. Soon enough you learnt how to control that too to make sure it works only if you wish it to work. You made a few spelling or grammar mistakes along the way which were valuable lessons on thinking before you speak, or write.

“Are you okay?” You hadn’t even noticed that she’s standing in front of you now, eyes softer and sympathetic. “Your hands.” She gestures. “They’re shaking.” They are, and you hadn’t noticed it. You try and form some words but nothing comes out and soon she’s by your side with her hands over yours, and then your hand on her chest. You feel her heartbeat. It’s not steady, but it’s steadier than yours. “Breathe. Breathe in, count to five, let it out. Follow my heartbeat.” Your frantic eyes land on hers and they flash red. Yours flash yellow. She quickly pulls her hands away as you pull yours back.

“I’m okay. Thank you, that helped.” You type away, but keep glancing at her. She’s watching you curiously.

“I have a lot of them. It is okay to panic sometimes, as long as you don’t let it control you.” You nod in agreement, understanding that she’s not only talking about the panic but magic. Magic can be fuelled by emotions, trauma, chaos. Her magic feels different though, different to the energy you feel around Strange. You know hers is red and you still haven’t figured out what that stands for exactly. But you do know she was experimented on at Hydra, so perhaps that’s why there’s nothing in the books. Maybe Hydra have figured out how to create magic. “You can’t do it, can you?” She says with an eerie calmness to her tone.

“What?” You know you can do it. But then you realise what she’s referring to, or who. 

“You can bring back Tony, and Natasha. But not Vision.” There’s a lack of emotion on her face, in her eyes. You don’t see anything. Nothingness.

“Wanda…I wish I could. I really wish I could, but-” You do. Fuck, you really do wish you could do whatever the hell you want, write whatever the hell you want and bring everyone back. But rules are rules. The universe must stay balanced. 

“It’s okay.” Wanda interrupts you and uses her cardigan sleeve to wipe the tears falling down her face, but despite the tears her eyes are still empty. You’re slightly worried, not knowing her well enough to know if she’s going to erupt or break down in some way.

“No, it’s not. None of this is okay, but you can mourn. You can grieve, you can cry and just let yourself feel like shit, just don’t let it control you. Don’t let your trauma cause even more pain.” Your hand goes to rest on top of hers on the counter but before you can touch her she pulls back like yours are fire.

“You don’t know me.” Her accent is stronger when she’s trying to hide her tears and suppress her sobs. Your heart aches for her.

“I do. I can feel it.” She turns and you take the opportunity to touch her hand, watching the magic spark up, the two colours twisting into each other. “If I hadn’t vanished, maybe I could have come and brought him back. But it’s been 5 years, Wanda. That kind of magic is dark, really dark, and it would either consume me or kill me.” The tone you use is calm, slow, trying to make her understand this is a road no one should take. Sometimes you just have to accept things for what they are and move on, no matter how hard it is. She’ll break herself if she doesn’t give up soon.

“You know a lot about magic for someone who is only just revealing herself.” She laughs lightly through her tears and for a second it sounds sincere enough to have you chuckling too.

“I wanted to come here before. After Sokovia. I did a lot of research, but then you guys were dismantled, and then I fell in love. And now? I have no family, no girlfriend, no one to tell me not to do this.” You look back down at the keyboard of your laptop, thinking about how much time you spent searching, looking through the web, archives, files, anything you could get your hands on to understand magic. You tried to understand hers but there wasn’t anything but myths you knew weren’t true since she was an experiment. You think going to Strange would be the best option, one you’d actually enjoy considering he’ll likely have a huge collection of magic books you can learn from.

“You’re a good person, Y/N. Inside. I can feel it.” She brings you out of your haze with a hand on your shoulder, moving up to your cheek and rubbing softly. You’re both drawn to each other’s power, and you’re not sure if she intends to do this but you can feel some of her emotions through her fingertips: the deep trauma, the scars, the darkness waiting to spill over.

“You are too. Just, please, be careful? Don’t let this consume you.” You try and warn her but all she gives you is a nod, a defeated smile, and a wave goodbye as she walks back to the entrance and looks over her shoulder one last time.

“I will be okay. Good luck, Y/N.”


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after finally figuring out how to bring them back, you and steve head on a journey through the galaxies
> 
> warning/s : mentions of death

A few hours were spent typing away every small detail to make sure you understand the timeline of events correctly. Another couple hours were spent walking around the compound, stepping outside to admire the fields and let your body relax for a little before you dive headfirst into the action. You don’t really know what it’s like to be an Avenger yet, but you sure can take a guess that no one ever gets a break around here. Even as you’re strolling outside sipping Coke through a straw you can feel eyes on you from heroes watching through the windows or going on walks near you by ‘chance’. 

They’re anxious, worried, scared, and desperate. Everyone is so desperate for help and you’re the only one who can provide it, especially since Strange is refusing to say anything despite you knowing he literally looked into the future. You could easily just write that he spills the secret, but that feels wrong. Every time you misused your powers for your own gain, a wave of guilt and heaviness filled you. You’re not sure if that heaviness may just be darkness; sometimes the nights you spent sleeping were interrupted by nightmares of being engulfed in it. You hope those stay as only nightmares, but with the type of magic you’ll be activating soon, you’re not entirely sure what will happen to you. But it’ll be worth it.

When it came to night you rest in the room Pepper provided you with, one that is right next to Natasha’s room. When you lay down that night it feels like you can hear her breathing through the wall, like she’s calling for you, crying for you to come help her. You’ve never met the woman but you’ve always admired her, and after looking through her file earlier today, after hearing everyone’s stories about her, that admiration grew stronger. Not being able to get any sleep, you huff before you throw the sheets off of your body, walk out of the room in nothing but your stained white shirt and shorts, and stand outside of Natasha’s door. The sound of her breathing is louder. You raise a hand to the door, place your palm on it and feel an energy radiating through. You can feel her cry out for you, the pounding in your ears becoming unbearable. Just as your shaking hand goes to open the door, a hand is placed on your shoulder and you jump, turning around with your hands up. The whole move is ridiculous as you know absolutely nothing about fighting, but you relax when you see it’s just Clint.

“Can’t sleep?” You nod as he rubs his eyes. “Me neither. That’s Nat’s room.” He steps back and runs a hand through his hair. The mohawk is a new look, but you think it suits him. His phone’s in his hand and you can see the messages page open to Lila; you feel a little guilty that you’re keeping him here, despite the fact that it’s to get Nat and Tony back.

“I-I know. I can feel her.” He looks up at you as you speak hesitantly. You don’t want him to ask more questions because you don’t really understand the feeling, but you’ve felt something similar before, this pull, this strong urge to just...protect? You can’t put your finger on it.

“I hope that means you’re determined to bring her back.” You follow him down the corridor into the kitchen and observe him as he pulls two mugs out of the cupboard. He seems physically as well as emotionally exhausted, and it dawns on you just how badly a break is needed around here.

“I am. I really am. It’s just so hard to figure out exactly how to do it. The last time I tried this…well, that’s a story for another day. Getting the details right can take time.” He can sense what you’re feeling and gives you a soft sympathetic smile, but thankfully doesn’t push you to go further. There are a lot of complications because you know that everything has to be balanced. You understand the soul-for-a-soul thing - although it’s confusing to why the soul stone is the only infinity stone that needs sacrifice to be obtained. Bringing back Tony is going to be the hardest considering the impact his death has had - bringing him back would mean you need to draw enough energy to keep the aliens he killed dead. There has to be a loophole because you already know that undoing his snap would kill you and probably break the spell before it can even finish.

“We’ve all lost here. At least we have that in common.” He passes you a steaming cup and you only then notice the strong smell of chocolate. It’s overflowing with mini marshmallows. You remember Clint telling you a story earlier of how he used to make Nat hot chocolate when she woke up from her nightmares.

“That, and you know, powers.” You say with a chuckle, smiling into your mug when he laughs back, takes a sip, and sits across from you. 

“Unfortunately I lack in that department.” So does Natasha but that doesn’t make what they do any less important than the others. They do it because they want to be good, not because their powers make them feel obligated to help. You wouldn’t be here right now if you didn’t have your powers, otherwise how else would you help? Natasha used to be an assassin, a spy, a weapon manipulated to bring nothing but destruction and violence. But she found a way out and she took it. She chose to be good.

“I don’t think so. Being a hero is a power in itself.” The smile he gives you in response to that is heartbreaking with the tears threatening to fall out of his eyes.

“Thanks. Really. I needed that.” Being close to him makes you feel close to her, and you can’t help yourself when you ask.

“Tell me about her.” Instead of freezing up and rushing out like you thought he would, Clint looks up at you with a small smile and shrugs his shoulders. He has nothing else to do right now, so why not?

“She was my best friend. God, you should see how much she’s changed, how her heart has been slowly melting. She’s been through a lot, too much, more than the average person can handle. She wanted to do this. She really wanted this to work. All she’s been working towards for the past 5 years was that moment. I just can’t let her go though. I can’t. There she was, fighting me, literally fighting me like it was for her life, but it was actually for her death. Killing herself while Red Skull just lingered there floating, insisting this was the only way.” He tries not to cry but she meant a lot to him. They have a long history from what you’ve read from the files. But what stole your attention was him mentioning Red Skull. He hadn’t said that earlier when he told you about what happened on Vormir.

“Wait. Red Skull? I thought you said it was just a red man?” You pull out your phone and open up your notes to quickly write down the plan that is quickly forming in your head. Clint pays no attention to your sudden hyperactive energy.

“Yeah, Steve fought him at some point I think.” Clint’s rummaging through the cupboards looking for something to eat and settles on a pack of chocolate biscuits. You can’t believe he held back this information from you and he’s totally clueless to how important it is. This is the key to saving them both while keeping the universe balanced.

“Oh God. He’s immortal. Clint, he’s immortal.” You laugh out loud and jump up, making your way around the island to hug him. He chuckles and pats you on the head, a little confused to why you’re so happy.

“Okay? Why’s that important?” You pull back as he stuffs his mouth with a biscuit.

“I know how to bring them back. But I need to talk to Pepper first.” Quickly, you make your way to Pepper’s room. You know she’s probably awake too, watching Morgan sleep peacefully still in her naivety, not understanding what her father has done. You’ll bring him back to them. You just hope Pepper is okay with him being a little different.

—————————————————————————————————

The plan is simple, really. You and Steve are going to return the stones, and in the process you will go back to Vormir and bring Natasha back. You had your suit on and made your way into the room where they built the quantum tunnel. For the first time since you arrived, the man with the weird sideburns who you learnt is Starlord stops you to talk to you.

“Hey.” He glares at you a little and you can’t tell if it’s playful or not but you glare back and relax with a wide smile right after. He doesn’t look entertained. “I don’t trust you.” He claims, crossing his arms over his chest, pushing up to look bigger.

“You don’t have to. I know what I’m doing.” You nod at him and try walk past him but he stops you again with a hand on your shoulder. 

“You didn’t answer before when they asked. Can you bring Gamora back?” The glare is gone but he still looks angry with his eyebrows raised, waiting for your response. Truth is, you have no clue what can happen because she died 5 years ago, but what you’re doing will impact the future and could possibly change the timeline. Although ‘changing the past doesn’t change the future’ applies to time travel, you’re not sure if it applies to spells.

“I don’t know. But we’ll leave the jet in Vormir. In case.” You walk past him this time, giving Bruce a smile from where he stood at the controls. The tunnel looks huge and somewhat intimidating. But you admire their work; you admire the whole compound that Stark has helped build.

“Don’t do that. Don’t give me hope if you can’t guarantee it.” He shouts after you in a strangled voice and you sigh, not knowing what else you can do to help. You can’t help everyone, and it sucks but it’s the rules. Not all rules are there to be broken. Some rules are put in place to keep things from breaking.

“I already told you I can’t guarantee it. But it’s okay to hope. It’ll keep you human.” He scoffs at that and marches out, mumbling to himself angrily. 

“He’s got a bit of a temper.” Steve tells you with a smile to acknowledge how exhausted you must be feeling right now. You’re overwhelmed to say the least, being thrown into this superhero business that you spent so much time in your life avoiding. Well, not really thrown if you threw yourself in. At least Steve seems to be grateful for that. “You ready?” He asks you with concerned eyes. You close yours and take a deep breath.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

—————————————————————————————————

The one thing you will never forget about space is the colours. Purple, red, green, everything and anything on the wheel; some colours you can’t even identify, you don’t remember seeing those shades on Earth. You soar past planets that Steve insists are too dangerous or unknown for you to stop by at, and he’s looking at you like a stern father telling his kid there’s food at home. You can’t help but pout and hope that, if this goes well, the Avengers would let you join and you could possibly experience this again. You feel your head spinning when you finally stop, descending into a dark planet with nothing but mountains and shallow puddles. Although dark, there’s a purple hue to everything and you can feel the magic in this place. You remember from your studies that purple magic is usually associated with dark magic. You remember the yellow on your hands turning purple when you brought them back all those years ago. You can never forget the horror on their faces, their desperate screams to undo it. It was out of love for you, but it felt like they didn’t want you. They didn’t want what you could become.

“Where do we go?” You ask Steve, speaking for the first time since you stepped off the jet. You both spent a few minutes in silence glancing around, taking in your surroundings. You think this place proves beauty really can be found in death. But maybe your perception of beauty is flawed.

“There.” He points to the top of a cliff and you sigh at the long walk you have ahead of you. Steve tries to make small talk with you but you’re both a little too anxious to talk right now. This could go wrong if Red Skull knows what you’ve planned. It could go wrong if you missed out the smallest detail. It could go wrong if doing this brings back the dark magic. There are hundreds of reasons not to do this, but you only need one reason to do. You need to bring Natasha back. It’s like the breathing you heard at her door is back, louder, behind you inching closer to your ear. It’s so warm you can feel your ears heating up, turning red.

“Steven, son of Joseph. Y/N, daughter of Y/D/N.” Steve has his shield up in front of him and pulls you to stand behind him, but you’re not intimated by Red Skull. You can feel what he feels.

“Schmidt. You know why we’re here.” His voice is cold, calm, collected. He knows exactly what he wants and he won’t let Red Skull stand in the way of it. You take a few steps to the side, knowing he won’t do anything to hurt you. He knows more than what he might let on. He knows your real plans. While his eyes remain on Steve, he subtly turns to make sure his body is facing you.

“I’m afraid I cannot do what you ask me to do. A soul for a soul.” His voice echos. Steve grunts and steps forward, dropping his shield to rest at his side.

“We’ll return the stone in exchange for Natasha.” He states with no room in his tone to budge, but Red Skull shakes his head yet again.

“The exchange has been made. It is irreversible.” He says before turning to you like he knows exactly what you’re going to say.

“Unless I reverse it.” Now his attention is all on you, forgetting the glare Steve is sending him. He comes closer to you, floating and towering over your figure. “You know what I can give you.” He nods slowly but turns around and floats towards the edge of the cliff. You and Steve watch him carefully as he contemplates what to say next.

“The question is whether it will work. I am cursed-” You interrupt him before he can finish, letting him know you know all about his curse.

“With immortality as the stone keeper. Killing you will shift the balance. Bringing back Natasha with no exchange will shift the balance. But…what if I do a simple swap?” At this, his interest peaks a little, but not enough. He’s still shaking his head. He’s trying to warn you of the dangers, the consequences of this going all wrong. But you refuse to listen. You need to bring Natasha back. You need to bring Tony back. This is what you were born to do; everything that has happened in your life has lead to this point.

“It will not work.” You shrug off your backpack like you did at the compound, pull out your notepad and pencil and slowly walk towards him.

“It will. You want it, don’t you? Death?” Your voice is low enough for only him to hear. That’s what you sensed the moment you saw him. This desire, this need for this to end, the sorrow and pain he has felt. He doesn’t want freedom; he’s already experienced the consequences of greed for the past 70 years stuck in this personal hell.

“Freedom has no use to me. This curse must be broken; only then will I be free. Only in death.” He says after a beat, appearing to finally agree with you. With a soft smile you turn to Steve and he nods at you. You wait a minute just to look over the cliff, staring at the planet afar, the puddles of water, looking over the edge to where Natasha had fallen. You begin to write:

‘The forces of the universe strip Johann Schmidt of his immortality. As the curse is broken, he steps off the cliff and freely falls to his death, sacrificing his soul in exchange for the soul of Natalia Alianovna Romanoff to be brought back to the realm of the living. There will be no stone keeper; the soul stone will remain hidden in the caves of Vormir for another to find. Johann Schmidt’s curse of immorality will find its way onto Earth to the Iron Man, Anthony Edward Stark. His curse can only be broken with these words spoken aloud by him: part of the journey is the end.’

And with that, you and Steve step back as Red Skull drops from where he was floating, stripped of his robe, stripped of his aura of magic. He feels his skin, his cheek, looks up at you with a grateful look in his eyes before turning with his arms open wide. He falls off the cliff and you wait a moment before you hear the sound of his body crashing to the ground. Then you wait.

“Is that it? Where’s Natasha?” It’s been a few minutes and she still hasn’t appeared. You even looked over the edge because maybe she came back to the exact spot she died, but you can’t see her. You feel your heart drop at the thought of your failure. You wrote it. The words turned yellow. She should be here.

“I-I don’t know. Just give it a moment.” You sigh and rub your hand against your temple. Your head is pounding, matching the pace of your heart banging against your ribcage. You failed him. You failed Clint, Bruce, Steve and every last one of the Avengers. You failed Natasha.

“Y/N, where the hell is she?” He marches to the edge of the cliff, looking down again. With his back turned to you, he doesn’t notice the yellow glow of your hands mixed with dark shades of purple. You shake your hand to get rid of it before you freeze in your spot. The breathing. It’s back. It’s no longer far, but right behind you, flowing to the back of your neck, to your ears. “Where is she!?” He screams out in frustration and you close your eyes as you feel her presence stronger than ever.

“Here. I’m right here.”


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you return to the compound and find out the wall between you and natasha’s room is pretty thin
> 
> warning/s : language + implied smut/sexual references

You didn’t get an opportunity to talk to Natasha properly other than a quick ‘thank you’ when Steve explained that you brought her back. But soon after he gave her the spare suit he packed with him, Steve confessed his secret plan. He wasn’t coming back. He thought about this the second he saw Peggy when him and Tony went back to get the space stone and Pym particles. Natasha didn’t take it well; she didn’t bother hiding her tears and just let them soak into Steve’s chest as she sobbed against him. You decided to give them some space and walk down the mountain, exploring this planet - or what’s left of it.

There isn’t much to explore - just rocks and puddles. But whatever you touch, those shades of purple radiate through. Even as you squat down and run your fingers through the water, you can feel the vibrations. Now you’re beginning to think the dark magic isn’t just on this planet but inside you again. The only way to fight it is to literally fight it and overpower it with your magic. You always thought your powers were ‘positive’ and bright considering they were yellow, the colour that represents happiness. It used to make Jasmine laugh when you magically wrote up things to entertain her, whether it was an ice cream sundae or an oversized plush toy. You hear Natasha’s footsteps behind you before she speaks.

“He’s gone. I’m not sure if he’s ever coming back, but at least he’ll be happy.” When you turn around, you finally get an up close look at her. There’s a moment of silence as she tilts her head and observes you just as you’re observing her. She’s changed overtime, no longer the deadly assassin that’s paranoid that everyone is a threat, but old habits die hard. She still wants to make sure you can be trusted. 

Her hair’s braided, swirls of red and blonde resting over her shoulder. The blonde makes her look softer than you remember, her features more gentle. You find yourself closing your hand in a tight fist to avoid reaching out just to feel how soft she really is. You can’t see the green in her eyes as clearly as you saw in her photos, on TV, the media - there’s nothing but darkness here. But they’re still beautiful, they’re still deep and staring into your soul, not in an intimidating way but in a curious way, like she wants to understand you. Her lips are open a little, breathing in and out to calm her beating heart after she’s just been crying and running to make her way down here from the cliff. You decide then and there that she is what was keeping this planet beautiful, and you’re eager to see how beautiful she looks with light shining down on her.

“Everyone deserves happiness. Come on, let’s go home.” You step towards her and press the button to put on your helmet. She looks at you confused and you open the helmet up with a sigh. She steps forward into a little stream of purple and blue light and she glows. You can see her features better in this light and can’t help stepping forward again to get a closer look at her full lips, her soft eyes, the curious look she’s giving you as her eyebrows furrow together. This is her colour.

“Are we not taking the jet?” Her tone is soft, like she’s already trusting you. Questioning you, but trusting you. The way you’re looking at her with nothing but admiration in your eyes is enough to tell her you’re one of the good ones.

“No. I’ll leave it just in case Gamora comes back.” You answer her with a sad smile remembering how angry Starlord was at you. You hope she’s with them now; maybe that will explain the purple magic at your fingertips, ready to burst.

“In case?” Natasha steps towards you, even closer now, and you step forward too, feeling drawn to her. She’s not a magical being; what you feel isn’t her magic, but yours. Your magic has been trying to tell you something from the moment you came back and felt the need to march to the compound and help.

“I haven’t done something this big before, so I have no idea what’s going to happen in the future. The stone keeper is dead, meaning there needs to be no sacrifice to take the stone. We got here before future Thanos did, so he wouldn’t have needed to kill Gamora to get it. But, as Bruce keeps telling me, changing the past doesn’t change the future.” You explain to her and she sighs, slightly overwhelmed with all the information. You press the button again and she does the same, taking the Pym particles Steve gave her.

“I guess we’ll find out soon enough.” She says with a small smile on her face. It looks slightly distorted through the glass, but you still think she looks breathtaking and you smile back.

“In a couple seconds, actually. Come on, let’s sync up.”

—————————————————————————————————

“Nat!” Bruce screams out, running towards her. You think you hear cracks as he thumps on the ground but you ignore it and watch with a smile on your face as the two hug. There’s no one else around but you hear faint squeals and cries from upstairs. Natasha and Bruce as still hugging when you take your helmet off and unzip your suit - the goddamn thing is so tight and itchy you want to get it off as soon as you possibly can. He gives you a silent thank you with a nod and gentle eyes over Natasha’s shoulder and you decide to give them some space despite how badly you want to sit down with her and talk to her about how she feels. You’re not sure what the effects of being magically brought back to life are, but you assume they’re not great.

Sighing as you step outside with the suit pushed down to your waist exposing your black tank top, you take a deep breath of fresh air. It’s different here to how it was on Vormir; there’s life, sunshine, birds squeaking to get your attention. As you look up at the bright sun, you see something small but fast blocking it. You squint your eyes and raise a hand over your forehead to look closely and see it’s the jet you left behind. The main entrance door to the distant left slams open and you see Starlord running out followed by his team. Others trail behind and you finally see Tony standing with Pepper’s arm around his waist to help, refusing to let go as if he’ll disappear any moment. The jet lands and Gamora walks out, bloodied and bruised, and falls into Starlord’s arms in exhaustion. While Thanos didn’t need to kill her, he likely beat her and left her stranded as the only purpose she served him was taking him to the stone.

“You did a really selfless thing, you know.” Jumping at the husky tone behind you, you raise a hand to your beating heart with a silent chuckle at your reaction. Nat comes to stand next to you, suit off with her widow outfit under that she was wearing when she came back to life. 

“Well, I really wanted to meet the Black Widow, so was it really selfless or selfish?” You both laugh at that as she turns to look at you with a smirk. She’s even more attractive in the sunlight, eyes naturally seductive, lips almost pouty.

“Want an autograph?” You smirk right back at her and turn to face her with your arms crossed over your chest. She’s not as subtle as she thinks she is when her eyes quickly glance down to look at your pushed up cleavage. You just about kept your composure to respond to her.

“I was hoping I’d get a lot more than that.” Her brow rises up and just as her mouth opens to respond back with what you assume would be a line as sweet as honey, a hand is placed on your shoulder and turns you around quickly. Before you can even see who it is, you’re pulled into a tight hug and feel stubble rub against your cheek.

“I don’t know who you are, or how you did this, but I owe you my life. You just gave my daughter her father back. Thank you, Y/N.” He sounds relieved as his voice cracks a little, more emotional than you ever thought he would sound when you’ve seen his rebellious moments in court and during interviews. You smile into his chest and hug him back, taking the comfort and thanks he provides. Although you did this because it was the right thing to do, it’s nice for people to acknowledge your efforts. When he pulls back you see he’s not wearing his glasses. His eyes are soft and kind towards you, but he doesn’t look as exhausted as you thought he would. 

“How do you feel?” He laughs almost in shock before stepping back with his arms out giving you a little spin. Pepper’s watching from afar with a smile on her face and Morgan hugging her legs.

“Amazing! Like, really fucking amazing. Did you give me a boost or something? I feel like I could do that fight 5 times over.” Bruce walks out from behind you and taps Tony on the shoulder before walking over to the others celebrating this win.

“Please don’t.” You laugh together and hear Natasha’s faint giggle behind you. She missed the fight but you’re sure the others will tell her all about it. “So…you’re okay with it? I talked to Pepper beforehand just to make sure, and she picked those words and said you wouldn’t min-” You’re a little nervous as you reference his immortality. Pepper had explained to you how Tony had some…darker habits and tendencies to get himself in situations where he wouldn’t come out alive. But she also explained how that darkness had drifted away when Morgan was born. They were happy before this, and she knew Tony would just want a chance to live a normal life with his family, no matter the costs.

“I’m more than okay with it, Y/N. Because of you, the world is always going to have Iron Man, and Morgan is always going to have her father to protect her. Gamora’s back, Natasha’s back, and Thanos is gone. You’ve done an incredible thing here. We owe you everything. Please, stay here. if you don’t mind, I’d like to run some tests? Just to make sure you’re doing okay after using up all that energy to bring us back.” 

“I-I don’t know. I don’t want to intrude or anything.”

“You’re not. You belong here, Y/N. Stay. Please.” Natasha breathes out behind you and you feel a ghost of her arms wrapped around your waist, as if it’s natural for her to be doing so. You almost lean back into her imagined figure before stopping yourself at the realisation that she’s stood next to you now, coming to look into your eyes and hold your arm, pleading you to stay. Enough people have left her.

“Okay. Okay, yes, I’d love to.” Her lips stretch into a wide smile as she nods and bites her bottom lip. Your eyes are fixated on it as she drags her teeth and it stretches before plopping down, a little wet. When you look back up at her eyes, the green is a darker shade and she steps back with a subtle gulp, gesturing to the door.

“Great! Party tonight then!” Everyone groans at that but he hushes them quickly. “Come on, you have plenty time to rest, don’t be boring.” He laughs loudly walking towards the group and you and Natasha walk back through the side door to make your way upstairs. The elevator ride is silent, but there’s definitely undeniable heat between the two of you. You just put it down to your magic radiating, because there is no way Natasha Romanoff is attracted to you. She’s…she’s, well, her. She’s breathtakingly beautiful, a lesbian’s wet dream with her perfectly sculpted body, and an assassin. Everyone has fantasied about that. Everyone.

“Oh. We’re neighbours.” She says with a nervous laugh and you give her a tight smile in return, looking down at your feet. “Right. I guess I’ll see you at the party? I got some cleaning up to do.” You nod with a wide smile but just as she opens her door you remember something.

“Hey, do you have anything I can borrow? To wear. I didn’t bring my clothes with me…kinda rushed here a day ago.” She turns to you slowly with a knowing smirk and a tilt of her head.

“Can’t you write it?” You freeze after hearing that, closing your eyes and letting out a breathy chuckle at how stupid you are.

“Oh. I forgot about that.” She laughs back and opens her door and walks in, but peaks her head out before closing the door to say one last thing.

“If you wanted to get into my clothes just say so, Y/L/N.” Her tone is raspy, seductive, and so suggestive that you almost choke on your breath.

“Funny. I’ll see you later.” You only give her a laugh before practically jumping into your room and slamming the door.

—————————————————————————————————

You heard her before seeing her. Turns out the walls actually are thin; thin enough to hear the music she plays out loud…and thin enough to hear the sounds she’s trying to drown out with the music. You question why the hell the walls are this thin when Stark is the one who funded the compound, but those thoughts quickly leave as your mind is filled with Natasha’s moans and groans. You’re concerned for a second, standing up to listen closely in case she’s hurt. You can barely hear them and for a second you’re not sure if it’s just the song, but it’s definitely subtle. You feel like a creep standing on your bed with your ear pressed to the wall, so much so that when you hear a particularly loud whine you jump off to get as far away as possible, marching to the bathroom to take a shower.

“Fuck!” You let out a shriek at the cold water that hits you, but honestly you needed that. Hearing her made your cheeks hot, your hands sweat and caused a throbbing ache between your legs. You didn’t think it was possible to be this attracted to a person after just meeting them, even more so after bringing them back to life on a dark, depressing planet. You feel a little guilty at that as you think this is probably the worst time for you to be feeling this way, sexualising her like this.

After fighting the urge to relieve yourself too, you hop out of the shower shivering cold and put on clothes as fast you can. Unfortunately, the only clothes you packed were thin, dirty and had holes in them. You’ll just magically write your wardrobe contents into the ones here. You still have time before the party, so after picking out some comfy joggers you decide to finally get some rest and nap. Needless to say, Natasha’s moans were in your dreams.


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stark throws a party and you find some time to talk to dr strange about a new possible problem, but nat misinterprets your discussion for flirting
> 
> warning/s : language + sexual references

The party isn’t really that but more of a gathering of close friends who are doing everything in their power to get as drunk as possible and forget about their problems. It all sounds like an unhealthy way of coping, but if you’re honest with yourself you’ve probably never laughed as much as you have with the Avengers. 

Thor has some Asgardian liquor to share with Bruce who can’t get drunk on the alcohol here, and soon enough the two are going at it with arm wrestling competitions. Clint hasn’t had much to drink, insisting he has to leave early to go home to his family but promising he’ll visit once a week to check up on everyone. You’d expect specific people to be grouped together but they’re not: Gamora and Natasha are sitting together on the couch, no doubt talking about their shared experiences on Vormir, and Ant-Man, or Scott as he keeps telling you to call him, is in the middle of a drinking competition with Tony.

You definitely feel a little out of place here, but there’s something else that feels off tonight. There’s something missing. You’re sitting at the bar nursing a beer, wearing tight black jeans with combat boots and a burgundy button up top. You couldn’t be bothered with something formal like a dress since it’s just a small party. Just as you finish your beer, Strange comes up from behind you still wearing his cloak - you’re beginning to think he sleeps in that thing.

“Glad you figured it out. Well done, Y/L/N.” He says before reaching over the bar and grabbing the bottle of whiskey with another glass. He pours one for you and refills his own before tapping his glass to yours and taking a sip.

“I’d like to say I’m mad at you for not telling me earlier, but I’m sure you’ll cryptically say it wouldn’t have happened if you did.” You laugh together and you’re tipsy enough to lean towards him, your head brushing against his shoulder. You don’t notice Natasha’s eyes as sharp as daggers watching your every move. 

“Listen, I don’t think we should talk about this here, or now, but I think we might have another problem.” You lean in closer to him with a teasing smirk on your face.

“Are you going to tell me this problem or do I have to figure it out on my own?” He chuckles for a brief second before sighing and shaking his head. Your expressions turns a little more serious after realising this might be a problem problem.

“Wanda’s missing. Clint said she’s just been in her room grieving, but I couldn’t feel her energy. So I checked, and she’s not there.” You knew something was missing; what you couldn’t feel was her magic, her strong aura, that pull you had towards her.

“That’s what was missing.” You mumble and he tilts his head at you in confusion before you shake your head and ask, “Do you think she’s in trouble or…?” You trail on, too scared to admit or even think about what she’s capable of doing. You know she’s a good person at heart, but what you saw in her eyes, that pain is something you know is powerful enough to consume anyone.

“I think she might be the one to cause the trouble.” He glances over his shoulder to make sure no one’s close enough to hear and Natasha quickly turns her head back to the conversation she was having with Bruce, Gamora and Starlord. Strange shifts his stool closer to you, voice going down to a whisper.

“Can’t you just…do your thing and look at what happens?” You breathe out, circling the top of the glass with your middle finger. The rings of your fingers sparkle under the warm light from the hanging bulbs above the bar.

“I can, but then again, when I do that all I am is a mere observer of the future. I can’t do anything to change or prevent it from happening.” You nod in understanding and sigh, taking a sip of the whiskey trying to keep your face neutral at the harsh liquid slipping down your throat. You always were more of a beer person, maybe cider every now and then. You weren’t much of a drinker after you recovered from your unhealthy binging habits years ago. 

“Right. I tried to help her, you know. I could…when she touched me I could feel her pain, and it was a lot. But what’s scarier is I know that pain was just the tip of the iceberg.” Thinking back to the moment you had with her, you can’t get those emotions out of your head. It was strong, powerful, almost like a heated mess that was getting ready to blow. Her magic felt unstable, and maybe that’s why you were drawn to her.

“I might not know her, but I feel like her magic is calling for me. It’s hard to explain but-” You excitedly interrupt him with a hand on his arm, grinning at the fact that you have a friend you can talk to about this type of stuff. He understands magic, and you can’t wait till you can discuss it in even more depth with him, preferably with his spell books to study.

“No, I feel it too. I understand completely. I just-” You turn towards the interruption.

“Hey. What you drinking?” Natasha’s voice, a little higher than it usually is, interrupts the two of you. She almost steps between you two and probably could have if Strange hadn’t moved his stool closer earlier. She gives you a wide smile and Strange a tight one.

“Oh, hey Natasha. Just whiskey.” You turn back to Strange and can tell he’s feeling a little uncomfortable to talk about this with anyone else around. “Meet me outside tomorrow morning?” He gives you a smile and nod before leaving to find Tony who pulls him into a tight hug with a loud laugh. Natasha takes his seat and pulls the stick of olives out of her martini to bite one off. Your eyes are drawn to her lips again and her white teeth biting softly.

“So, what you guys doing tomorrow?” She asks curiously, and you laugh nervously, sipping on your drink.

“Oh, we just have some stuff to talk about.” She hums in response before spitting out the pit. You watch it fall against the glass bar before rolling off.

“Sounds important.” She bites her bottom lip again and you close your eyes for a second to compose yourself before tapping your fingers on the bar lightly. Her eyes follow the movement of your fingers and she bites her lip a little harder.

“It might be, it might not be. Don’t really know yet, I guess we take it one step at a time.” At your sigh and smile, she leans away from you. Her expression changes a little, eyes no longer confident and lips turned down. 

“Oh. I didn’t know you guys were like, dating?” You almost spit out your drink at that. You and Strange? Well, that in itself is strange considering men are nowhere near comparable to women - at least to you. There’s something about a woman’s touch, her soft skin against yours, her gentle kisses that just drives you crazy. You laugh at her assumption and take notice of her confused but also disappointed expression. You’re starting to think the possibility of her being attracted to you is higher than you initially thought it was. Your thighs rub together at the thought.

“Oh! No, no, definitely not! I’m insanely gay. Strictly women.” Suddenly that disappointment on her face is gone, replaced with a smirk.

“I’m sorry for that assumption. You guys just look close is all.” She says in a low voice while shifted a little to face you. Her hand is now mimicking yours by running her finger along the top of her glass.

“Oh no, don’t worry about it. Honest mistake.” Your eyes stick to her finger, hypnotised by the way it’s moving, twisting, curling. You tried not to stare tonight when you first saw her in that blue dress. It’s not even tight, or short, or scandalous; she just looks insanely beautiful in her long dress with the slit on the side to show off a little skin. Midnight blue looks good on her and it reminds you of the hue that lit her up in Vormir.

“So, what kind of women?” She asks you but you barely hear her question, still focused on her fingers. Her hand suddenly stops and she chuckles at you, drawing your attention back to her face.

“Huh?” You ask, confused, mouth hung open a little, eyes a shade darker.

“What kind of women are you interested in? Got a type?” Natasha inches closer, smirking playfully but the look in her eyes tell you she actually wants to know your answer. You decide to play her little game, gaining the confidence to flirt back.

“Just…women.” You tease, expecting her to ask more to show her interest. She groans at your response and you gulp at the reminder of her groans you heard earlier. Those, paired with the look on her face right now as she closes her eyes and pulls her brows together to meet in the middle…needless to say your imagination will run with this.

“Come on, give me more than that. Any exes?” Her eyes narrow as she asks, but you look away and clear your throat. That’s not something you want to think about. It’s over and it has been over for her for years, so there’s no point dwelling on the past. This whole time jump is a lot to take in but in all honesty it feels more like a fresh start for you. A new book maybe, or just a new chapter. There was no real life for you to leave behind anyway, not when Jasmine was all you had.

“Yes. I was with someone, Jasmine, before I vanished. Came back and she was with someone else so I guess that’s over.” Her hand rests on top of yours and squeezes gently. It’s comforting, but that’s not all you want now. You don’t want sympathy, you just want her. You turn to face her again with a smirk. “She’s a blonde. Blue eyes. But I prefer redheads…and combined with green eyes? God, I can’t help wanting to rail them until they absolutely break.” You punctuate most of that last sentence and watch proudly as she gulps. Her eyes flick between your own and your lips.

“Are you flirting with me, Y/L/N? Very bold.” She lets out a nervous laugh, clearing her throat and composing herself. She’s grown use to making advancements towards women rather than the other way round. But you’ve always been more dominant, and your experiences mean you can easily read when someone has a more submissive side, even if it’s hidden deep down. The way you’re throwing her off has her eyes losing that strong seduction, turning into desperate desire. The different shades of green you’ve already seen in her eyes are imprinted in your memory to help future you figure out exactly how she’s feeling just by looking into her eyes.

“I can think of something bolder.” You mumble, thinking back to when you heard her fucking herself earlier. You’re bold enough to bring it up and tease her with it, hoping it doesn’t cross any boundaries. Her reaction to it will tell you all you need to know.

“Hmm? What’s what?” She asks, licking her lips now, inching even closer to you, so close your nose almost brushes against hers.

“Nothing. Just thinking about how the walls between our rooms are really thin…” You whisper, watching as her eyes widen and she lets out a small gasp. You smirk at her before standing up, gulping down the rest of your glass and strolling over to where a few people have turned Tony’s pool table into beer pong. You know her eyes follow you.

—————————————————————————————————

By the end of the night, Thor had come to the decision that he’ll leave with Starlord and his crew. Space is what he’s always known, and with Thanos defeated and Steve gone, he feels like his time on Earth is done. With both Steve and Thor gone, Tony felt the only natural thing for him to do was leave too and go back to his cabin with Pepper and Morgan. By his logic, since word has spread - according to Carol - and practically every being in the universe is aware that Earth’s mightiest heroes managed to defeat Thanos, the chances of being attacked again are incredibly low. Clint left earlier, eager to go back to his family, but not without hugging Natasha for an incredibly long amount of time, and you’re sure you saw tears in her eyes when she pulled away. The only people that decided to stay living in the compound was you, Natasha, Bruce, Sam, Bucky, and surprisingly Carol. She said she’d like to have a break, and being around friends is exactly what she needs.

“What exactly can you do with your powers? You mentioned rules earlier?” Carol asks you curiously, sitting on the couch across yours. You look over the cards in your hand and see her leaning back and sipping on her beer. It’s almost 1am. Most people have either left or gone to bed at this point but you, Carol, and Natasha at the pool table playing a game with Bucky.

“I wasn’t really joking earlier when I said I’m a writer. There’s an art to it.” You playfully reply and drop a card on top of the stack on the coffee table. She lets out a loud laugh that you don’t realise gains Natasha’s attention. If you lift your head up you’d see her greener than Bruce. Her jealousy with Strange was unjustified, but considering you’re into women, and it’s clear Carol is too, she can’t help the feeling that possesses her.

“An art? Please, enlighten me.” She leans forward with her elbows on her knees, narrowing her eyes at you. You sigh and lean forward too, placing your cards on the table to try and come up with an answer.

“It has to make sense. What I write has to flow together like I’m writing a story, a poem, like it’s a sentence or paragraph in a novel. I can’t just write ‘Tony is brought back to life’. There’s no action to cause that, no logic behind it.” You speak a little slowly, alcohol gone to your head at this point in the night. She’s still nursing her beer, this time rolling her eyes a little. You tilt your head, somewhat offended by her reaction.

“That doesn’t seem too hard though.” She shrugs her shoulders and you do the same in response.

“I didn’t say it was.” She lets out an empty laugh with her hands raised up. You think you hear something that sounds like a growl but you focus on Carol smirking at you.

“I’m just saying, you came here out of nowhere insisting that you can save us all-” Her tone isn’t one you appreciate, and it’s not one Natasha appreciates either as she interrupts her before you can.

“And she did. Could you have brought Tony back? Me? Gamora?” Nat’s towering over her with her arms crossed over her chest, eyes dangerously dark and glaring at her. It’s probably not a good idea to provoke Captain Marvel, but Black Widow might get a punch or two in. As hot as it sounds, you’d rather not have these girls fighting over you right now so you clear your throat but Carol beats you to it this time.

“I didn’t mean anything by it, Nat. It just seems like Y/N got lucky. You can just write what you want and boom, it works.” You scoff at that and both of them turn to look at you as you lift your hand up. 

“I’m afraid it’s not quite like that. There’s consequences…but only I feel them.” You move your fingers, twisting and twirling them around as magic radiates off of them. First yellow, but a little purple begins to twist with it causing you to sigh and shake your hand again. There’s a silence as Carol seems to understand the implications of what you’ve just shown her. Now she’s looking at you with not only sympathy and guilt, but a little fear. It’s a natural reaction to purple magic. Nat doesn’t quite understand it but she glances between the two of you and relaxes a little as Carol clears her throat and stands up.

“We’ll have a go at first impressions again tomorrow.” She says with a chuckle and nod.

“I think we’re on third impressions by now, Danvers.” You narrow your eyes playfully and she shakes her head with a smile before walking off.

“Have a nice night, ladies.” She yells when she makes her way down the corridor. You look around quickly and see Bucky had snuck away at some point during the conversation. Natasha sighs and throws herself down on the couch next to you, close enough for your thighs to be touching.

“You’re cute, you know.” You say with a wide smile. Her cheeks flush pink and she tries to turn her head away but you use a finger on her chin to turn her back to face you. You decide then and there that you’re going to make her blush at least once a day just to see that face again. 

“Stop it.” Nat lets out a quiet giggle and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. It’s in waves after being taken out of the braid it was in. Despite how badly you loved her bright red locks when you first saw the Avengers in the news all those years ago, you have to admit to yourself that the transition to blonde tips looks even better. She looks softer, more comfortable with herself rather than having to put up a front of this badass assassin.

“No, you are. The way you just tried to defend me was adorable. And hot.” You husk out with a playful wink and stretch your arm to rest on the back of the couch, fingertips lightly playing with her hair. She bites her lip, looks down at her lap before looking back up with nervous eyes.

“How hot?” She asks in a low voice, leaning in closer to you, almost panting with how quick she’s breathing. You lean in closer, hypnotised by her eyes that are turning a darker shade of green by the second.

“If you’re lucky enough you might hear my answer to that question when you’re laying in bed tonight.” You whisper, breath lingering on her lips and you definitely don’t miss the small whimper she tries to swallow.

“Thin walls.” She mumbles and reaches a hand to rest on your thigh but suddenly pulls back when she makes contact. There was a spark. No, a literal spark of yellow coming out of her fingertips. “What was that?” You stutter, not knowing how to respond to that. You’ve had theories, but not much experience when it comes to using your magic on other people. “I-I don’t have powers. Was that you? It came out of me.” Her eyes are wide and frantic as she pulls back and holds her hands out in front of her, twisting and turning them to see if there’s anything wrong. You take a hold of her hands, feeling the need to take care of her and keep her calm.

“Relax, it’s not you. Just me. Inside you.” Her eyebrow raises at that with a faint blush and you let out a chuckle, rubbing the back of her hand with your thumb. ”My magic, I mean. Bringing you back was a magic trick I guess, so it takes some time for that to fade out of you. But it’ll go. I promise.” She nods and looks up at you after dropping her hands to her lap. She tries to sit closer to you, almost on your lap at this point, hand resting on your thigh and your hand back to playing with her hair.

“What if I don’t want it to go? Is that why I feel so…I don’t know. It’s like there’s a rope and it’s wrapped around the both of us, and anytime I get too far it stretches…and it hurts, and I want to get closer.” You feel it too, and the fact that she’s feeling it and wants to keep feeling it drives you crazy. Your eyes focus in on her lips, wet after she’s swiped her tongue across it, plump and full, so kissable. Your nose brushes against hers and you look up to look into her eyes.

“I don’t know if that’s my magic or just…our magic.” You mumble and she pulls back to let out a loud laugh that stretches a wide smile on your face. God, she’s just…music. Her laugh, giggles, chuckles…her moans, groans, whimpers. You want to see what other sounds you can pull out of her.

“That was cheesy.” She whispers, leaning in again. Her hand moves higher up your thigh and yours moves from her hair to her cheek. 

“Way too cheesy.” She leans into your touch, closing her eyes and breathing softly. She looks at peace. And you don’t want to ruin that just yet. You decide to call it a night. You made sure she definitely heard your answer to her question though the walls before you both fell asleep listening to each other’s steady breaths.


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after a long day of working with dr strange, you come back late to the compound to find natasha waiting for you…smut. it’s filth but a little cute too
> 
> warning/s (18+ ONLY) : language + smut; bottom!nat, top!reader, light choking

Bruce had made pancakes, french toast, eggs, basically an entire buffet for breakfast. That’s what you saw and inferred when you walked in, at least. The second you reached out for a pancake he slapped your hand claiming he’s a big guy and made this all for himself. Your eyes widen at that, a little embarrassed at being told off by the Hulk, but Natasha strolls in and tells him to shut up and share, so he lets you and everyone else eat. He said he was kidding but you think he probably wasn’t.

By 10am you were dressed in black jeans and a loose sleeveless white shirt, waiting for Strange to show up. The sun’s glaring down on you so you put on the sunglasses you left hanging on the front of your shirt, lean back against the door and wait. You can’t help but miss Wanda. And it’s not like you know the girl, but it’s her magic that you really miss. It was comforting to you, despite how messy and untamed it felt. Having her around made you feel at ease, and now without her you felt a little bit emptier. That pull you felt to her is still there and it hurts being far from her. Since Strange noticed it too you assume he feels the same way. He shows up a few minutes later and you quickly get into the passenger seat and he drives off. You’re both urgent to get to the bottom of this.

“Any theories?” You drum your fingers on the dashboard and he glares to get you to stop. You have a lot of energy this morning despite being slightly hungover - honestly you might just be feeling high after having an amazing night with Natasha. 

“Can’t tell you yet, but we’ll look through a couple books.” He says cryptically as usual, and you can’t help but roll your eyes and let out an exaggerated sigh.

“I could write out a magic radar or something. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I feel like I could just close my eyes and follow that pull, like I’d know when I’m getting closer to her magic.” He nods in agreement with the magic pull, but other than that he shuts down your plan.

“We can’t do that without having a plan first. She could be dangerous.” He states and waits for the traffic light to turn green. He takes this opportunity to turn to you and sees that you’re glaring at him. You don’t like what he’s implying, but deep down you know it’s somewhat true.

“She’s mourning. She’s not the enemy.” You punctuate, feeling the need to defend her after feeling how much pain she was in. It seems like everyone got a happy ending but her. And what’s worse is she missed out on the party, she missed out on the group coming together and being there for each other. She didn’t even get to see Natasha, and from what you hear they were close too. Maybe she could have found comfort in her.

“I know that, but that doesn’t mean we just take her in with open arms. She’ll resist. She already resisted when you tried to help her.” He says while beeping the car horn to speed up a taxi in front of him. You never wanted to drive in New York because of the traffic. Walking included its own traffic too. Being at the compound was a nice change of pace and you’re missing it already. 

“I guess you’re right.” You nod in agreement and sigh. There’s a silence while Strange taps on the wheel before turning to you with a smirk.

“So. You and Romanoff?” His tone is so suggestive you have no choice but to scoff and turn your head to the side hoping he doesn’t see the blush threatening to light up your cheeks.

“We are not talking about my love life right now.” He doesn’t buy it and you realise your mistake.

“I didn’t mention anything about a love life. Interesting that your mind went to that.” He chuckles at you and you lightly punch him in the arm.

“Oh, shush.” Just mentioning Natasha is enough for her to completely fill your thoughts again. Every moment with her was special, important, memorable. You let out a frustrated sigh and can already tell there’s a victorious smirk on his face. “She’s just not what I expected, you know? Like I’ve done my research long before coming here, I’ve seen her fighting, seen what she’s capable of. And she’s, like, always been fucking hot. But she’s not just that. She’s really sweet, and more vulnerable and open that I thought she’d be, and just so beautiful without even trying, even when she woke up this morning with her hair all over the place, hungover and exhausted, stuffing pancakes in her mouth. For God’s sake, she had syrup on her chin and all I could think about was licking it off.” You bite your lip and he gulps uncomfortably but still smiles at you.

“Okay, I asked about love, not sex.” He laughs and pulls to the side to look for a spot to park. You then realise he has literal powers to transport the two of you, so why did he drive? Perhaps he wanted to talk to you, wanted to know about you and Natasha. Either way, you enjoyed his company.

“Sorry, sorry. I’m just…I don’t know. I’ve never felt a connection this strong before, and this fast.” You press the button to release your seatbelt, rubbing at your neck where it was stuck to. It’s a hot day today and you’re already all sweaty. 

“Well, I think it’s pretty clear she feels the same way. She looked like she was ready to rip my head off when she interrupted us last night.” You laugh together, remembering how jealous she looked. For a trained assassin she sure has a hard time at hiding her emotions, at least to you. 

“Oh, she definitely feels the same way. I’m just hesitant. It might be too fast, I can’t help feeling like it’s the wrong time to be starting a new…relationship? Just dating in general. Especially now with this Wanda issue.” You look down at your lap, playing with your hands. It’s why you haven’t kissed her yet, why you haven’t actually made a move. You know there needs to be an adjustment period. Sure, you brought them back, but everyone had still lost. They lost Steve, the original Avengers are basically dismantled, retired, finding their happiness with their families. And she’s just…there, not knowing what to do, not knowing where to go. They were her family, especially Clint. Natasha knows she’s always welcome to stay with him, but it just won’t feel right. You think she might need time to find herself or figure herself out, and you don’t want to intrude on that time.

“Don’t overthink it, kid. Come on, let me introduce you to everyone.”

—————————————————————————————————

Turns out you really really love spending time at Sanctum Sanctorum. Every single person welcomed you with open arms, flattered and pleased by your eagerness and determination to learn more about magic. Strange has taught you a lot on ancient spell books, on the essence of magic itself and how you can distinguish between different types and auras. You figured out your magic isn’t entirely like Eldritch magic despite the colours being very similar. Upon closer examination, yours is more yellow while theirs is orange. You’re still not understanding your own magic and where exactly it comes from, considering there’s nothing Strange could find in his books on ‘Narrative Warping’ as you like to call it. Perhaps that’s why they let you stay - to study you while you study everything they have.

Finding Wanda is still a priority, but you’ve gotten relatively nowhere over the past couple of days. It’s become your routine to wake up at 10 in the morning, enter the portal Strange opens on time to Sanctum Sanctorum, spend the entire day learning, coming up with theories, trying to locate Wanda. By the time you get home it’s dark, it’s late, and you’re half asleep cuddling with Natasha on the living room couch watching a show as she tells you about her day and you tell her about yours. You’ve gotten closer to her, so close but still not close enough. She trusts you with a lot of things and has been dependent on you to unload her emotions. In all honesty your heart flutters every time you look at her, expression and body so open and free with you. She’s definitely different to the stories the others have told you, the things you’ve read on the deadly Black Widow. If anything, her tight hold when she cuddles into you will suffocate you to death and it would be the happiest and most satisfactory death you could ever want.

You’ve had a pretty long day exploring different theories, reading through spell books - you begged but Strange didn’t let you take one with you. It’s late by the time you get home carrying a box of doughnuts hoping Nat likes them. Halfway through the day you realised you still don’t have her number and couldn’t tell her exactly what you were up to or when you’d be coming home. Home. This compound, these people are what you can call home now.

“I know you said you’d be meeting him but I didn’t realise you’d be gone the whole day again, Y/N.” Natasha is the first person you see when the elevator dings and opens. You step out and give her a cheeky smile but she’s not entertained as she’s stands tall with her arms crossed over her chest. She’s in comfortable sweatpants and a tank top; your eyes have a hard time avoiding her bulging biceps.

“Nat. Hey, how are you?” She raises a brow, but her lips fight a smile to match yours. You lift the box with a smirk and wink. “I got you doughnuts.” She narrows her eyes at you before breaking out into a grin and snatching the box.

“I accept.” She says playfully and walks through the corridor to the living room, placing the box on the table and opening it. “I missed you.” She mumbles nervously before picking out a strawberry covered doughnut. She’s so…vulnerable around you. Vulnerable, and submissive, and nervous, like she wants you and is scared you wouldn’t want her back. But you do. God, you really fucking do.

“I missed you too. Did you have a good day?” You whisper back, sitting with your legs crossed on the couch to face her. She looks a little tired, body sagging against the couch.

“Just trained a little. If…If I’m being honest with you, I don’t really know what to do.” You hold her hand, playing with her fingers to encourage her to elaborate. “We’ve always had something to work towards, something to train for. Missions, alien wars, Hydra. Now…everyone’s saying they want to rest, but I don’t know how to do that.” You understand what she’s feeling, watching with a frown as she sighs and takes another bite of her doughnut, almost pouting. You want to kiss that pout away.

“You feel lost.” She nods in response, turning her head to face you, resting it on the back of the couch.

“Yeah, exactly that. Bruce was in the lab all day working on his own theories and writing papers. I trained with Sam and Bucky a little, but they’ve gotten pretty close and I feel out of place. Carol just spent the day sleeping and on the phone with her friend Maria, but she seems content with doing nothing. I just…I’ve been working nonstop for the past 5 years and I guess I don’t know how to stop.” As much as you love hearing her talk to you about what she’s feeling, you want to cheer her up, lift her mood up, make her laugh and smile again.

“Well, what people tend to do is fry their brains with shit TV. So…wanna watch a movie?” You ask while reaching for the remote on the table to turn the TV on. She stops you by snatching it away from you.

“Nothing scary.” The glare she sends your way does absolutely nothing to intimidate you, knowing you actually have the power in this dynamic.

“Oh, we’re going to have a major problem here. I love horror films.” She huffs at you and shakes her head quickly. She looks adorable, pleading you with her eyes, pouting at you.

“Nope. I’m not into ghosts and demons. Please don’t make me watch that.” She groans and sucks her thumb into her mouth to lick off excess icing from the doughnut and you freeze for a second, zoning in on the way her cheeks hollow out, the icing still on her lips as she lets her thumb out with a pop. You shake out of it and put a smirk on your face, ignoring the knowing smile on hers.

“Come on, baby, we can cuddle?” You say playfully and she freezes up, mouth hung open a little. You tilt your head at her, feigning confusion. “What?” You question and suddenly she drops the remote on the table, turning to face you mimicking the way you’re sitting. Your knees rub against each other.

“Say that again.” She husks out, eyes focusing on your lips. You stick your tongue out and slide it against your bottom lip to see her reaction. She lets out a shaky breath and you smirk, knowing what you’re doing to her. You tease her further, waiting for her to make a move.

“We can cuddle?” She shakes her head quickly, leaning in, this time sitting up on her knees. She looks like she’s waiting to pounce, and you really want her to. You want her to just break, unable to control her desire for you. You want her lips attacking yours, want to feel her whimpering against your lips, gasping into your mouth at the spark she feels when your nails trial along her skin.

“No, the other thing.” You lean closer, gasping playfully like you just realised what she meant. She narrows her eyes at you a little before zoning in on your lips again, flicking between them and your eyes. By now you know that green means…well, she’s ready. She’s so ready to take the leap.

“Oh. You like that? You like me calling you my baby?” The second you say the word, her hands are at the back of your neck pulling your hairs, and her face is suddenly close to yours, stopping briefly to rub your noses together, brushing her lips against yours. “Baby…” You whisper and that’s enough for her to crash her soft lips to yours, pulling you into a long kiss. Your magic sparks within you, giving you such an intense feeling of satisfaction, something you’ve never felt before. Your lips quiver against hers when she pulls back and you look into each others eyes, emotions strong, stronger than you think you can handle right now so you kiss her again, softer this time. Your hand raises up to brush against her cheek, holding her face close to yours. Her skin is so soft, her lips are even softer and she melts into your touch, forehead resting against yours as you both pull away to breathe briefly.

“Fuck.” She mumbles, opening her eyes and looking into yours. Despite how scared she looks, overwhelmed at how she’s feeling right now, she wants more. She wants so much more.

“Language.” You say in a commanding tone and she moans against your lips, loud. You almost whimper at that, leaning in again to breathe her in. She smells sweet, she tastes sweet like the strawberry doughnut she just ate. You want more.

“Again. Kiss me again.” She whines desperately, practically begging you to take control and you happily attach your lips to hers, this time pushing her back gently against the couch without breaking your lip lock. As you settle between her thighs, her legs rise up a little to rub against your hips, locking you in.

“You’re intoxicating.” You mumble against her lips. She groans at your words and you take that opportunity to swipe your tongue against her bottom lip, asking for entrance and she opens her mouth to grant it, putting up no fight against your dominant roaming tongue. She sucks your tongue into her mouth, nails digging into your back as a reaction to you moaning, vibrations spreading all over her body. You run your hands over her body, over her strong arms that feel soft under your touch. But it’s not enough. You have to feel her skin on yours, and you can tell she wants it too by the way her hands are already under your shirt, nails running up and down your back. But you have to make sure she’s okay with this. You pull away slowly, giving her another kiss, sucking her bottom lip and stretching it out before letting go with a pop. She bites her lip right after you let it go, her cheeks and nose pink now. “Hi.” You whisper with a smile.

“Hey.” She giggles, giving you an eskimo kiss. She’s so fucking cute.

“I really want you. Like, fuck, you have no idea how filthy my mind is…” You trail on and she turns her head with a blush, but you make her look back at you with a tut. “But…I just want to make sure you’re okay. We don’t have to rush into anything if you’re still processing everything that’s happened.” She shakes her head quickly, desperately, somewhat scared this is you rejecting her. “I want to do this the right way.”

“Does this feel wrong?” She whispers, kissing you gently again, lips soft as clouds you practically melt into them. “How about this?” She runs her hand along your stomach, brushing against your bra and you shudder against her. “This is the only thing that feels right. Please. Please don’t stop.” Her hot breath whispers against your ear and she gives you a light kiss below it. Her lips feel hot, and wet, and so gentle that it’s almost ghostly. You grunt into her ear because that’s all you need to push you into making her scream for you. You kiss her roughly, biting her lip and digging your fingers into her side. She gasps and whines into your mouth, revelling in your dominant nature. You lift her up surprisingly easily considering you don’t work out that often and she immediately wraps her legs around your waist. You make your way through the corridor to your room, managing to avoid bumping into any tables, and push her against the door with another bruising kiss. She’s subtly grinding her hips against you, trying to find some friction for relief but you drop her to the ground, bare feet planted on the cold floor.

“Patience.” You smirk and open the door behind her. She pulls you in from the back of your neck as she walks backwards, kissing you desperately. You slam the door closed behind you with your foot, spinning her around and pushing her against the door again, attaching your lips just below her jawline. She whimpers and whines as her fingers pull on your locks and you smirk against her neck. “Let me hear you. Your sounds are so pretty, baby.” She groans at your words, leg rising to lock your hips with hers. She lets out a string of moans as you suck, bite, lick, kiss along her neck, leaving your marks on her.

“More. Please, I need more.” She pants out, and you pull back just to lift her tank top off to reveal her chest covered by a sports bra.

“Use your words properly, pretty girl. Tell me what you want.” Nat lets out a groan in frustration and tugs your shirt off too. She pushes you until your knees hit the bed and you fall back. The sight of her crawling on top of you is enough to have you groaning, mouth hung open. She straddles your hips before pulling her sports bra off, letting her heavy breasts bounce free. You used to think her suit left nothing to imagination but this is a million times better than you could have ever thought of. They’re so full, bigger than they look compressed in her suit, and her nipples stand hard and proud, flushed and begging for your mouth. You realise you’ve been staring for a while when she tries to cover them with her hands but you shove her hands away and pull her to lie flush against you. “You’re so beautiful.” You mumble against her lips, giving her soft pecks as you finally let your hands trail down from her neck to brush against the side of her breast. She gasps against your lips and moans when you take hold of a globe in your hand and squeeze.

“Oh, Y/N…” She moans as you peck her lips again. You can’t get enough of her. Her lips taste so sweet and your mind drifts to how she tastes between her legs. “More.” She whimpers as you pinch a nipple but instead of telling you this time she just shows you. She sits up a little, pulling you to sit up too. She’s straddling your lap but now you’re face to…tits. Fuck, you forget how to breathe being this close to her bust. “Please.” She whines, rolling her hips against you and her sounds are enough to bring you back to reality. You attach your lips to her nipple, sucking while flicking it with your tongue. She’s going crazy with her whines, pulling on your hair, grinding so hard she’s practically riding your lap. She’s so goddamn desperate for you.

“You want this so fucking bad, don’t you? I bet I can make you cum without even touching that soaked pussy.” Your tone is harsh but she loves it, she fucking loves it so much with the way she’s moaning loudly, repositioning herself to straddle your thigh. She’s wearing her bottoms and panties, but you can still feel her heat - she’s soaked right through them. You’re not even sure if she’s listening to you at this point. Her eyes are closed when you look up at her, her mouth hung wide open, panting with her lips wet and swollen from kissing you. You wrap your lips around the other nipple, giving it the same attention as you start kneading the other with your hand, finger occasionally brushing against her sensitive bud. 

“Oh,” She lets out a loud whine, grinding desperately against you, “Oh, Y/N, I’m gonna-fuck!” She lets out the filthiest fucking moan you’ve ever heard, so fucking loud you swear the vibrations reach your own throbbing heat between your legs. Her body stills but you grip her hips to keep her moving, wanting her twitching and shaking to make you stop. She moans out your name and you bite her nipple, drawing out her orgasm. Her nails dig into your shoulders and you’re sure she must have broken skin at this point but you can’t find it in you to care when you have a goddess cumming on top of you, desperately rolling her hips against your thigh. “I-I can’t.” She whimpers and you let her off this one time since it’s her first time with you. You stop her hips and feel her shudder and fall against you.

“You did so good, baby. Such a good girl for me.” You whisper into her ear as you wrap your arms around her waist, pulling her close and letting her rest her head on your shoulder. She whines again at the praise, rolling her hips once again, and you can’t help but smirk at how quickly she’s ready for more. “You want more, pretty girl?” She surprises you by biting your shoulder, a show of annoyance for teasing her and you growl at that, standing up lifting her with you, turning around and throwing her on the bed. “Strip.” Her eyes widen in both excitement and a bit of fear of what you’re going to do next. But she quickly takes off her ruined bottoms and panties in one go, kicking them off the bed. You watch her with hungry eyes as she spreads her legs. Fuck, she spreads her legs so wide for you without you even telling her to. There’s a red trail of trimmed curls in the middle leading down to her absolutely soaked pussy. You quickly take off your clothes too, not missing the way her eyes darken even more, the way she bites her lip hard watching you. You crawl onto the bed lifting her leg up to kiss along her calf, up to her inner thighs. You take your time there, licking her thighs that are soaked with her juices. She shudders, whimpers, whines and rolls her hips, hands finding their way into your hair to pull at your locks again.

“Don’t tease.” You chuckle at that and shake your head at her. You were already going to edge her for biting you but after that comment you might not even let her cum again. 

“I just want a taste.” You whisper, blowing against her. Her hips twitch at that, fingers tugging on your hair to direct your mouth to where she wants it. Her scent is intoxicating and your eyes roll to the back of your head for a second before using your hands to spread her, watching as her pussy throbs for you. “So desperate for me, aren’t you, pretty? God, if only you could see yourself now. You’ve made such a mess.” You lean in and slide your tongue through her slit up from her entrance towards her throbbing bud. You both let out loud groans at that, yours vibrating through to her clit. She whines again as your tongue avoids her where she wants it. “Only good girls get to cum.” You state firmly and she looks down at you, eyes open wide and slightly sad. You almost feed bad when you stick your tongue into her, twisting and curling, moaning at how sweet and tangy she tastes. You almost feel bad because she’s in tears when you pull away completely, marking your way up her body.

“No…no, please. Please, I need you so bad, please don’t stop.” She begs and begs but you shut her up with a bruising kiss and a hand to her throat. She gasps against you and the second you feel her hips move you slap one of her breasts hard.

“Don’t fucking move. You don’t get to cum until you make me cum.” You smirk as her eyes open in excitement as you crawl higher, placing a thigh on either side of her head. She opens her mouth without you telling her to and you smile at her in praise before lowering yourself onto her tongue. “Oh God.” You sigh at the feeling of her gentle tongue lapping at you. Her eyes are wide with lust, looking up at you. It’s a sight she never wants to forget; your head’s thrown back and mouth hung open, tits perky and flushed. She uses both her hands to knead them, brushing her thumb against your pebbled buds. “Good girl. Fuck, you’re so fucking good at that, baby. Don’t stop.” Natasha hums happily against you and you shiver at the vibrations, pulling on her red locks. You start rolling your hips, grinding your clit against her tongue. You were already soaked from making her cum before that it won’t take you long to be pushed over the edge. She starts moaning and you quickly open your eyes and turn to see her rubbing her thighs together. You raise a hand and slap between her legs. She lets out a scream, not expecting that sensation but she seems to get your message when she spreads her legs back open. “Mine.” You pant, going back to riding her face. Her tongue’s rougher now, pressing harder, flicking against your clit faster. “You look so pretty with my pussy in your mouth.” She whines at that, looking up at you with eyebrows furrowed together. It’s enough to make her eager to get you to reach climax. She wraps her lips around your clit and sucks so fucking hard you freeze on top of her, shuddering, twitching your hips hard against her face every few seconds as you ride out your orgasm. “Shit, Tasha. Fingers.” You manage to pant out, telling her exactly what you like and she slips two fingers inside of you and curls them. That pushes you over the edge again, and you throb so tight against her fingers she can barely move them. Nat slowly and gently laps at you, cleaning you up and circling your throbbing clit with her tongue. When your hips stop moving and you rise up a little, her mouth, chin, nose is absolutely coated.

“You taste so good. Please touch me, feel how wet you make me. I wanna cum. Please, please make me cum.” She begs like she’s been begging her whole life for you, knowing exactly what to say. You have mercy on her. Besides, you made a promise; she can cum when she makes you cum. You crawl back down, laying next to her on your side but keeping her on her back with her legs spread open. Your tongue’s immediately on her face, lips, neck, tasting yourself on her. “Please, Y/N.” She whines as you start sucking on her neck. 

“Fuck, your sounds are driving me fucking crazy.” She lets out another moan at that, a hand grabbing the sheets and the other at the back of your head. “You’ve been so good to me, pretty girl. Good girls get rewards. Don’t you ever forget that.” You warn her and bite below her ear to remind her of how she bit your shoulder. She whimpers and spreads her legs even further apart and you finally trail your fingers down her body, pinching her nipples on the way. She’s rolling her hips already, so needy for you. “So responsive.” You mumble against her neck, brushing your lips against her skin until you reach her mouth that’s hung open. You sit up a little on your elbow so your face is practically on top of hers, lips on hers but not kissing her just yet, and you finally slide your fingers through her folds and thrust two into her heat. She lets out a dirty moan and you swallow it right up, attaching your lips to hers. Your pace is relentless, unforgiving, and so hard that the sounds her pussy is making are louder than her moans. “Fuck, baby, even your pussy sounds pretty.” She clenches tight around your fingers after that comment, whining against your lips, moaning, groaning, panting, so close already that she just needs a tiny push. You move down a little to attach your lips to her tight bud, flicking your tongue against her nipple. Just when you slide your thumb up to brush against her clit, she breathes out the words that make her the most perfect woman on this planet.

“Please. Please can I cum?” Fuck. She’s handed the control to you completely. She’s given you literal control over her pleasure, over her body, and you can’t help but growl and bite her nipple and she’s throbbing so hard around your fingers, soaking your hand, dripping onto the sheets.

“Cum for me, pretty girl. Now.” You growl into her ear before quickly going to look into her eyes. “Look at me.” She opens her eyes and the look of pure lust and adoration in your eyes is enough to just push her over the edge. She pulls you into a bruising kiss and bites your lip, hard. You can taste copper but you don’t care. Her body is twitching, twisting and turning, grinding and moving to get away from the pressure you’re putting on her sensitive clit. You keep her down with your leg on top of hers, swallowing every moan that comes out of her mouth. You pull your lips away to watch her face as she cums. Her head is thrown all the way back, the veins in her neck protruding as she stops breathing just to make the high better. She’s absolutely ethereal. You slow your thumb down, circling gently, thrusting your fingers slowly and keeping them curled. The squelching sound of them pushing into her is fucking filthy. “You’re okay, baby.” You mumble, laying gentle kisses along her neck as her body twitches lightly with every brush against her clit. You finally pull your fingers out just to move them up and present them to her mouth. She lazily obeys, opening her mouth with her tongue out. Fuck, she swallows your fingers, cheeks hollowed out as she sucks and licks between them, cleaning herself off of them. Your hand is soaked so a little brushes against her chin and when you pull your fingers out with a pop you lean down to quickly taste her, licking up to her lips and sliding your tongue into her mouth. She’s exhausted, but content, sighing against your lips when you pull away. “You can rest.” You murmur, making your way back down her body and looking at her ruined pussy, puffed and red, dripping onto the sheets. You lick your lips, salivating before diving in, sucking, licking her clean. She whines, thighs wrapping around you, trapping your head but also pushing it away as she grinds up. “Shh.” You shush her. This isn’t for her, it’s for you. This is your treat, your reward. By the time you’re done, her eyes are fluttering closed and you pull the duvet over your naked bodies, pulling her back to your front.

“Sleepy.” 

“It’s okay, you deserve it. Go to sleep, baby.” Drifting to sleep once you hear her breathing even out, you think about fucking her from behind next time just to see your handprints on her ass. She sighs and leans back into you, pulling your arms to hold her tighter. You’re never letting go.


End file.
